Tips for Reconnecting in Relationships

Rekindling Connection: Nurturing Your Relationship in Rancho Cucamonga

The Ebb and Flow of Romantic Relationships

The beginning of your romantic relationship is usually when you and your partner feel the most connected. You stay up all night talking on the phone and are in constant contact about how you’re feeling and what you’re doing. You make a lot of time for intentional connection and dreaming together. 

 As time passes, you get the house, the car, the kids… all the things you dreamed of together when you first started your relationship. You don’t stop dreaming, but  you stop talking about your dreams and you get bogged down with your day-to-day responsibilities. 

And then you find yourselves feeling disconnected. 

The feeling of disconnection is painful because you remember all those times you felt so in love and in sync. 

But long term romantic relationships are a series of disconnection and connection. On repeat.  

What makes relationships last is being able to disconnect and reconnect with humility, without blame, and with understanding for one another. 

The relationship will survive the disconnections as long as they don’t last too long and there aren't any damaging behaviors happening during periods of disconnection. 

Overcoming Disconnection: Communication Tips

Here are some tips on communicating when you’re feeling disconnected: 

• The most important topics for reconnection are the ones centered around the heart and emotions.

• Ask questions like, “How are you feeling this week? What are you excited about? Are there things that have been making you feel down or like withdrawing?” 

• My favorite question to ask is, “how is your heart today?” Meaning, how are you feeling emotionally?

• Instead of asking, “how was your day?” Try asking, “what was the best part of your day today? What was the hardest part of your day? How did you feel about that issue that came up?”

• Couples can become disconnected when they talk about WHAT happened, and leave out how they FEEL about what happened.

• The emotional part is the vulnerability piece that creates a deeper connection, so asking how your partner is feeling about what they are sharing is ultimately most connective. 

When Disconnection Persists: Seeking Help in Rancho Cucamonga

If you’re finding it difficult to reconnect with your partner these days or you’re noticing longer and more frequent periods of disconnection, couples therapy can help. Click the link below to book your free 15-minute phone consultation and we’ll help you get back on the track towards reconnection.

Ketamine Therapy VS Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy

Ketamine clinics are popping up all over California. The research is exciting. It reports immediate relief from treatment-resistant depression, anxiety, and PTSD. 

Most people experience immediate relief. But, these reports often overlook the importance of integration as an ongoing process.  This is truly what creates lasting change. 

Ketamine Therapy is the process of receiving Ketamine. You can administer it through an IV, a lozenge, or nasal spray. Most Ketamine clinics provide a medical evaluation prior to treatment. Then, the patient arrives and the drug is administered. 

Ketamine remains in the system for 45 minutes to 2 hours. During this time, the person feels sedated and has an internal psychedelic experience. Once the experience is over, a chaperone will wheel the patient out to drive them home. 

Without appropriate integration, the experience is just an experience. It can be difficult to process the learnings from the experience. It can be difficult to allow them to permeate everyday life. 

Why Choose KAP?

Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) is more fully supported. The emphasis and focus are on the preparation, intention setting, and integration processes. 

Much of the research on psychedelic assisted therapy discusses the importance of set and setting. It determines whether a person will experience a positive outcome. I strongly believe that. 

Set refers to the mindset in which a person is in prior to an experience. The setting refers to the physical space and energy surrounding the experience. 

Many people use psychedelics recreationally. The experience is not therapeutic or healing. It is just an experience. 

The Power of Integration

In my work with KAP clients I first seek to know them, their histories, and their goals for treatment. This sets the stage for the work we will do together and it is about trust building. 

Most of my clients have never used any type of recreational drugs. We spend a lot of time preparing for a dosing session. We focus on answering questions. We also discuss the fears and anxieties that naturally come up. 

We also spend a lot of time discussing goals and intentions. I carefully prepare the space for each dosing session. I incorporate aromatherapy and music to enhance each client’s experience. This also helps with integration. 

Ketamine Journeys are 3-hour sessions. We discuss intentions and practice meditation. I help ease the client into the experience. Once the effects of the ketamine wear off there is plenty of time for clients to return to their bodies and process the experience. 

1-3 days following a journey, clients return to my office for an integration session. In this session, we also use aromatherapy. It helps the client remember the learnings they experienced during their journey. We discuss any insights they’ve had. I also use Brainspotting to anchor in the experience. It helps clients return to the places and feelings they’d like to take away from the experience. 

Real Results, Real Transformation

Last week, I shared some of the amazing results my clients are experiencing after just one Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) session. 

Improved sleep, the ability to be present, implementing healthy lifestyle changes, and seeing oneself positively... the list goes on and on. In case you missed that email you can read it here. 

If you’re ready to embark on a transformative journey click the link below to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation. We’ll answer all your questions and make sure it’s right for you. 

12 Ways to Affair-proof your Marriage

In the craziness of your daily lives, it's common for couples to forget to give their marriage some TLC. You know, life gets busy, and we get caught up in the whirlwind. 

But here's the deal – taking care of your relationship is a big deal!

In my practice, I help couples recover from affairs and other trust violations. Part of the process is understanding how they got to the place where an affair was a possibility.

 I want to share the nitty-gritty stuff you can do to keep your marriage strong. We're talking about building a fortress against potential relationship hiccups and the devastation of infidelity. So here are 12 things you can do to affair-proof your marriage: 

 1. Make Your Marriage the #1 Priority:

Start by acknowledging that your marriage should be your top priority. Open a sincere conversation with your spouse. Discuss what you both can do to keep your relationship at the forefront of your lives.

 2. Nourish Your Relationship:

In the chaos of daily life, it's easy to let your spouse take a backseat. Take the initiative to ask your partner, "What do I need to do to help you feel that our marriage is our top priority?" Listen attentively and take action.

 3. Spend Quality Time Together:

Quality time is the glue that holds a marriage together. Regularly invest in activities that strengthen your connection. Build friendship and lay the foundation for intimacy and lasting love.

 4. Choose Your Battles Wisely:

Instead of constantly correcting or criticizing your spouse, focus on the positives. Acknowledge their efforts and strengths rather than fixating on perceived flaws. Remember, encouragement goes a long way.

 5. Give Each Other Breaks:

Grant your partner the space they need. It's essential to have time for individual pursuits and personal growth. It's also important to maintain a strong connection as a couple.

 6. Talk About What's in Your Heart:

Open and honest communication is the bedrock of any successful marriage. Share your thoughts, fears, and dreams with your spouse. Encourage them to do the same, fostering a deeper understanding and connection.

 7. Focus on the Positive:

Cultivate an environment of positivity in your marriage. Celebrate each other's successes, no matter how small. Express gratitude for the positive aspects of your relationship.

 8. Keep Sex and Passion Alive:

Intimacy is a vital component of a thriving marriage. Make a conscious effort to keep the spark alive. Do this by showing regular affection. Communicate often. Be open to exploring each other's desires.

 9. Make Yourself Happy:

Your individual happiness contributes to the well-being of your marriage. Pursue activities that bring you joy, and encourage your spouse to do the same. A happy individual is more likely to contribute positively to the relationship.

 10. Hang Out with Marriage-Friendly People:

Surround yourselves with couples who share similar values and commitment to their relationships. Positive influences can inspire and support your own journey.

 11. Commit to Lifelong Learning:

Marriage is an ever-evolving journey. Embrace the opportunity for personal and relational growth. Commit to learning from each other and adapting to the changes that life brings.

 12. Don't Forget to Date Each Other:

Keep the romance alive by continuing to date each other. Plan regular date nights to create shared memories. This will reinforce the romantic aspects of your relationship.

 If you read through this list and were able to identify 3 or more areas that you'd like to improve, we want to help! Click the link below to schedule your free 15-minute phone consultation and get your relationship back on track with the right support. 

Avoiding Conflict in Marriage

Are you avoiding conflict in your marriage? 

The other day, my 6-year-old daughter asked me to do a craft with her. I had a whole list of to-dos that I wanted to get done that day, and I knew if I didn’t get started early, I’d never complete all the things on my list.

She begged and pleaded with me, and I gave in. We made an origami sword that she ended up being obsessed with. She said it made her feel so powerful.

I wish I could say it was a great activity and that it was totally worth pushing off my to-do list for.

But unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.

She asked me to do a craft WITH her, but I ended up doing it FOR her. She did some cutting and project management, but it was an involved process that included many folds, multiple papers, and a glue gun. It was not something she could have completed on her own.

I begrudgingly folded and glued, and even though she came with excitement and encouragement, I was resentful.

I felt the annoyance radiating through my body, and it didn’t allow me to show up with an open heart. I was short and uninterested. It wasn’t what she deserved. It wasn’t even her fault. It was mine.

I had said yes when I meant no. The entire project took maybe 30 minutes, but the entire time I was distracted thinking about what I needed to get done before we headed out on our camping trip the next day. I was grumpy and didn’t appreciate her enthusiasm and sweetness.

When it was finished, I totally regretted my withdrawn attitude.

That’s not how I want to show up in my relationship with her.

That’s not how any of us should show up in our relationships, but it’s how I see so many couples show up towards one another. When we say yes when we really mean no, it sets us up to feel resentment, and when we feel resentment, it impacts our mood and the way we approach the other person.

I was withdrawn with my daughter and unappreciative of her excitement.

How many times have you begrudgingly attended an event with your partner and looked for any reason not to have a good time? You might drag your feet and show up late or nitpick the food and criticize the company or even your partner. When we say yes when we mean no, it opens us up to act passive-aggressively, and that actually causes more issues in the long run.

So why do we do it?

Most people do it to avoid conflict.

They also do it to avoid disappointing their partner, and sometimes people do it because they are paying amends for something unrelated that’s happened in the relationship. If you feel like you have to go along with whatever your partner wants to do because you made a mistake in the past, then there’s really no amount of good deeds you can do to fix the situation.

You aren’t showing up authentically, and you’re doing a disservice to your partner and to the relationship. It’s usually a sign that you’re not addressing the issue by having open dialogue and saying all that needs to be said to move towards healing. Healing can come from doing your own inner work or working together as a couple.

If you’re ready to start 2024 with a fresh start and get everything out on the table, we’re here. Click the link below and sign up for a free 15-minute phone consultation with a therapist in Temecula, Rancho Cucamonga, online anywhere in California, or explore California couples retreats and intensives. Let's talk about the best way to help you reach your goals and strengthen your relationship.

Exploring Ketamine Therapy in Southern California: A Comprehensive Guide

Unlocking New Avenues for Mental Health in the Golden State

Southern California, renowned for its sunny beaches, is not immune to the challenges of depression, anxiety, and emotional trauma. In this blog post, we delve into the realm of Ketamine Therapy and Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy, guiding you to the resources you need for genuine healing.

Ketamine Therapy Clinics: A Glimpse into Immediate Relief

Ketamine Therapy vs. Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy: Understanding the Nuances

Ketamine clinics have become widespread in Southern California, promising relief from depression and anxiety. However, without proper therapy and integration, the transformative potential of the experience may fall short. Yale University studies affirm the immediate alleviation of symptoms post-Ketamine Therapy.

Demystifying Ketamine Therapy: The Treatment Process Unveiled

The Journey Within: Navigating Ketamine Therapy

In a Ketamine Therapy session, the drug is administered intravenously, as a lozenge, or via nasal spray in a clinic setting. The immediate effects, lasting 1-2 hours, provide a temporary uplift in mood and psychedelic experience. However, sustained benefits necessitate proper integration, a crucial step that is often overlooked.

Integration: Anchoring the Experience for Lasting Change

Integration is the key to translating Ketamine Therapy benefits into daily life. Integration is an important process in making the experience meaningful, anchoring it in the brain and body for lasting effects.

Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP): Elevating the Experience

Beyond the Drug: The Holistic Approach of KAP

Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) offers a profound therapeutic relationship with a psychotherapist alongside the drug experience. Learn the essential questions to ask when seeking KAP, ensuring a tailored and supportive journey.

Choosing the Right Path: Questions to Ask Your KAP Provider

Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) is a very different experience. It is done within the context of a therapeutic relationship and is so much more than just receiving the ketamine. 

When looking for Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy you should ask the following questions of the clinic or practice you are researching:

Finding the Right Fit: Choosing Your KAP Practitioner

1. What is the process for determining whether or not me and the therapist will be a good fit?

Most Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapists allow potential clients to have a free phone consultation where they can determine what you’re looking for help with, explain their fees, and process, and answer any questions you may have. 

Following the phone consultation there should be an intake process where the therapist collects background information and works collaboratively to help you establish goals for treatment. This process can take 1-5 sessions depending on the therapist’s preference. 

I always recommend taking a longer time to onboard and establish a good working relationship prior to the first Ketamine journey. This helps to create a bond and feelings of trust and safety. 

2. How will the Ketamine be administered?

There are a few different forms of Ketamine - nasal spray, lozenge, and IV. You’ll want to know which form you’ll be taking in order to plan for the experience. The length of time you will feel the effects of ketamine is dependent on the form and way it is administered. 

3. What is the process for obtaining the Ketamine? 

If you are looking for a fuller experience like Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy, then you will want to know about the relationship the therapist has with a prescribing physician or medical team and what the process is for obtaining a prescription. 

Integration Matters: Crafting a Lasting Impact

4. What is the integration process like? 

There are varying degrees of integration, and some Ketamine therapy offers no integration. If you are looking for a fuller experience that will produce lasting effects I’d recommend Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy. You will want to know how many sessions you’ll be doing pre and post journey and any other methods the therapist uses to assist with a fuller integrations process such as Brainspotting, EMDR, or Internal Family Systems. 

Navigating the Southern California Landscape: Your Ketamine Journey Awaits

Seeking Guidance? Connect with Us!

If you're still navigating the world of Ketamine Therapy in Southern California, call us at (909) 600-0306 for a free 15-minute consultation. We're here to understand your needs and guide you toward the right resources. Learn more about our Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy services and how we can support you on your healing journey here.